Crispin. The dog with an unpleasant secret.
Cheryl: up-and-coming young journalist
Darryl: unrequited lover of Cheryl
Murgatroid: Evil and conniving aunt of Darryl
Edmondo: Dishevelled husband of Murgatroid
Crispin: The dog with an unpleasant secret.
It is a dark and stormy night. Crispin is cowering in his Doggy-bed . Murgatroid is mumbling stage left
Murgatroid: Stage left, stage left....WAAAAARGH!
Enter Darryl, flustered
Darryl: Oh Aunty, are you all right?
Murg: shaking and looking wildly out of the window Oh..oh my...it's out there.
Darryl: What. What's out there. Oh Aunty.
Murg: I knew it. It was only a matter of time...and now it's here.
Darryl: What Aunty? I...I don't understand.
Murg: You know who it's come for don't you? Darryl shakes his head CRISPIN!!!
They both trun slowly and look accusingly at Crispin.
Cheryl's bedroom. Cheryl is combing her hair in front of the mirror.
Cheryl: Maybe I'll meet a beautiful young man called Sigmund tonight. Ho hum.
Suddenly lightening rips across the sky, lighting up the landscaped garden as clear as day.
Cheryl: What terribly nasty weather The phone rings Oo! Who can that be.
Darryl: Cheryl? Aunty's having a nasty turn. Could you come over and help me give her, her medicine?
Cheryl: I don't know Darryl, I am supposed to be going out tonight.
Darryl: It won't take long. Oh please Cheryl, for Crispin's sake.
Cheryl: Oh very well. But I can't stay long. They hang up
Darryl is looking concernedly out of the window, Murgatroid is vibrating gently in the corner, Crispin is staring inanely at his Doggy-bone and Edmondo is hobbling across the room.
Edmondo: Are you all right dear?
Murg: Wibble muffin pie.
Darryl: Don't disturb her Uncle, she's had a nasty turn.
Edmondo: Oh piffle. I had a nasty accident with a seed drill you know!
They both go into a respectful silence
Cheryl: off stage Darryl? Oh Darryl?
Darryl: In here Cheryl
Cheryl: How is she?
Edmondo: She's vibrating again.
Cheryl: Oh no. You know what that means don't you?
Edmondo and Darryl look questioningly at Cheryl. Cheryl looks at Crispin. Crispin begins to hum various excerpts from Andrew Lloyd-Webber musicals. Or so it seems....
Everyone is gathered around the fire as the evening becomes cold and intimidating
Darryl: She's asleep. She whispered something about it being Crispins hour.
Edmondo: Crispin's asleep too. She was just delirious.
Cheryl: I've phone Antony, I've cancelled our date. I understand what you're going through.
Crispin gets up and saunters over to the fireplace dragging his Doggy-pillow.
Darryl: That's strange. Crispin never usually leaves his Doggy-bed.
Cheryl: Oh my God!
Edmondo and Darryl: What?!
Cheryl: Do you not know what that means?
Darryl: It can't be!
Edmondo: I'm afraid it is.
Cheryl: Crispin's got an unpleasant secret!
They all turn slowly and stare at Crispin. Crispin looks at the audience, and his bewildered eyes glow gently.
Everyone is sitting looking at Crispin, whose eyes are glowing in a most disturbing manner,
Edmondo: Prove it to us Crispin.
Cheryl: Prove it isn't true
Crispin slowly pulls a red coat out of his Doggy-pillow. It has a holiday camp badge attached to the sleeve.
Darryl: Oh no!!
Cheryl: Oh Crispin, how could you?
Edmondo: So he worked for Butlins, did he? That's nothing. I once had a nasty accident with a seed drill.
Crispin: Damn Jethro Tull.